Monday, 29 September 2008

Inspired by Robin Coopers timewaster letters

Today I sent an email to Oceana club, Cardiff after they sent me a 'letter' inviting me and my friends to party with them. Let me confirm that I would not party in Oceana if the world was about to end and everywhere else was fully booked.

Here is a copy of the email:


recently I received a letter from you, which was surprising since I've never signed up to your mailing list, inviting myself and friends to come to your club. Unfortunately myself and many of my friends have large visible tattoos which I believe you have a policy against. Boy, did you get some bad (and rightly deserved) press over that debacle! Way to alienate a sizable section of your potential demographic! Anyway, I guess that's partly what 'Right of admission reserved' means. Does this mean I can't come to your club?


Edward Timpkins"

I eagerly await a reply.


Saturday, 27 September 2008

The old stuff is always the best...

I realize this is the second TV clip in two posts and I'll try not to make a habit of it. A thank you to the Faux Bot for our shiny new banner goes out in the form of this clip. Enjoy.


Thursday, 25 September 2008

Hey batter batter batter

I've been getting real tired of late because other people are not uploading the clips I want to watch. Usually I just get annoyed that others everywhere aren't subconsciously doing my bidding, but last night was different. Maybe I had more free time than usual, or maybe I lost my XBOX pad and had to entertain myself the good old fashioned way (with the internet), but I decided to do it myself. It turns out editing out clips and putting them back together from existing episodes that others have spent hours carefully making is a short and easy process if you do it half-arsed. Which I did. So enjoy this classic Randy Marsh moment. On me.

Please note I did not create Randy Marsh and do not lay claim to any of the original material. Snoogans.


Monday, 22 September 2008

Killer sex

Hands up who thinks having sex on a railway line is a good idea? No one? Well done, you all get to live! Unlike the couple from the Mpumalanga Province in South Africa who got killed doing just that. After ignoring the drivers shouts to move, the train just plowed into them, leaving the driver confused. 'They continued with their business' he later told some newspaper.


Thursday, 18 September 2008

Coincidence. I assure you.

In some sort of double coincidence it has come to my attention that pop rock wasters Fall Out Boy's latest album is entitled 'Folie a Deux'. Initially disappointed that I would ever have anything in common with that 'band' I was dealt a further kick to the balls with the realisation that the artwork for the album cover was done by Luke Chueh- a favored artist of mine. Even the fact that the album would be the only piece of his art I'll ever afford isn't enough for me to buy it of course.

Looks good doesn't it? Don't buy the album though, it'll be shit.


Thursday, 11 September 2008

The most amazing man ever.

You know how some people have lives so comfortable that they actually have time to ponder their existence? They call them existentialists, and they will be first against the wall when I come to power. Sweeping generalisations aside, it seems that there really are some people who have a purpose beyond their own existence. Take Kip "Kipkay" Kedersha, for example. He is some sort of man-genius who has worked out how to hack, modify and improve just about everything you thought needed improving (except for the quality of my writing). Ever wanted a pair of home-made infrared goggles, or wanted to know how to "superchill" a canned beverage in 2 minutes? Me too.

Chill A Coke In 2 Minutes! - video powered by Metacafe

This guy is amazing. Hopefully he will start some sort of religion/cult soon so that I can go serve under him. Come on people! He can chill a coke in 2 minutes! Blows Christianity right out of the water.

What are you waiting for?

The Faux Bot


As I travelled into the city this morning I was appalled to see a man, yes a man, wearing a pair of sports socks. The ones that women wear to play tennis. If you're going to wear shorts why demean yourself further by wearing stupid socks? Stop and think about the impression that they give to other people, you alco-pop drinking, leg hair grooming poodle owner. They are not a good look for a man.

Just roll your regular socks down like the rest of us Mr. La-di-da.


Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Who said men don't play with dolls?

I'm unable to post for the rest of the week so I've decided to leave something that could easily take the whole week to think about. Possibly one of the odder fetishes (if that is the right term here) I've come across is the world of the Real Doll- the "world's finest love doll". I can't really do the topic justice in this short time so just check it out for yourself, delve deeper at your own peril. Enjoy the different models including the limb-less torso and explore the ways in which you can get your Real Doll repaired if you've become a little 'over enthusiastic' and broken it.

I tried to add a picture but couldn't bring myself to lower the blog even more than I did with the sexy nun picture. At least not in the first 2 weeks of its creation. Maybe next week.