I've got a bit of a thing for the Russians. Vodka, the Soviet Union, Propaganda, all brilliant stereotypes if you ask me. As if I needed more convincing then, I still have had my love furthered by englishrussia.com. Whilst I've hardly explored it in depth, it is essentially a gathering of weird contemporary Russian trends and goings on. What struck me in particular and prompted me to post was a thread of 'staged photographs' all adhering strictly to a theme. You can check the post here if the photo below makes you shoot milk out of your nose like it did to me.
“A Cheating Wife: You need to make a photo of a man, “a lover”, hanging outside the real window. The window should be not lower than a 3rd store of a multi-stored building. “A husband” should lean out from another window with a gun, aiming at “the lover”. From yet another window “the cheating wife” should look out in despair.”
Sky TV has a new show to be aired tomorrow on their flagship channel (not Babecast, the other one) Sky1 at 8PM. Called Hello Goodbye and hosted by someone called Kate Thornton it truly looks like the worst show ever dreamed up by man. This looks like emotional drivel for the... I can't even form proper sentences. I'm just staring at the monitor in a foggy rage, this is no condition to be constructive in, I'm not even going to try. Society is dead if enough people watch this show. Its about emotional people parting and reuniting at airports. That's it.
Some website said someone involved said this: "Executive producer Simon Welton added that the show will chronicle the 'huge events' in peoples' lives which unfold at airports."
"Well, I'm out guys. If this is what's cool now, I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm going to go home and kill myself. Goodbye friends" - Eric Cartman
I am curious today. Mainly about which is the best Steve. A bit of user participation is required here, in order to help satisfy my curiosity. Please help me decide by posting your vote and reasons why in the comments section.
1. T4 Loverman and Welsh sleaze-bag, Steve Jones:
2. The REAL saviour of Radio 1 and indie legend, Steve Lamacq:
3. White-haired one-time comic genius, Steve Martin:
May I remind you that Steve Jones really has done nothing, but is rather dashing. Steve Lamacq should be a national treasure and will be our generation's John Peel. Steve Martin was in The Man with 2 Brains and The Jerk, the other Steves weren't. However, he was also in two Pink Panther remakes and Cheaper By The Dozen, both other Steves weren't. Choose wisely, for there can be only one Steve.
Some things will stay with us for a long long time and this is one. In 1978 Shatner wowed us all with the greatest rendition ever of Rocketman. Everyone with an internet connection has seen this video but I swear its got infinitly more repeated viewings than any laughing baby or dancing fat guy. Plus William Shatner may be one of the best humans to ever live. You want evidence? Listen to Henry Rollins talk about recording with Shatner and you'll be convinced.
The little captions the user has added are pointless but its the clip with the best audio and video, so pay them no mind.
Is it just me or is there a distinct lack of good science fiction on television at the moment? Star Trek is still going in the form of Enterprise, but I want more. Much more. They must be out there and I'm looking in the wrong places, if anyone has any recommendations I'm all ears. What the fuck happened to Firefly? Which complete git had the final say on that getting canceled after one series? Why did something so good last only 14 episodes when there is is so much garbage airing- running series after series?
Maybe the Orion slave girls could get their own spin-off? I'm just putting it out there.
So once again I'm out of hospital and once again I can't move around very much because I have a gaping hole in my side. This time though, I have a photograph. Taken when the dressing was being changed while I was in hospital I cannot describe the feeling of looking down and seeing this. Its amazing to say the least. It should heal nicely into a round or football shaped scar about an inch or so wide.
I'm not sure of my motives for posting it, except that I personally find it so fascinating and gross I wanted to share it. I guess. Also its the first thing I've ever deemed too low brow for this blog so I've hosted it elsewhere- In case you're a big girl and you don't want to see. Oh, one more thing, its not actually flesh eating bacteria, its the opening used for an operation and perfectly normal. I just thought it looked like flesh eating bacteria. Plus its more rock and roll to say it is.
First off this post is in no way a car review or judgment of a car. The new 2009 Renault Megane Coupe could be great, it could suck, honestly I couldn't care less. What bothers me is the way its being advertised. People have just stopped trying to be paid for new ideas, and why not when the same shit still flies. A new advert, sure! Whats a good advert for something? Is being cool still cool? OK, lets go with that. Sex is still selling and people still want to purchase happiness? Great! Lets rehash the same shit we always do this week, piss up against this wall for the next 3 weeks and bill for a month! Right on! Look at my big house and shiny family.
This is the new advert for the 2009 Megane Coupe:
This laughable 'advert' cost many pennies and Renault probably paid up, pretending not to see the stifled laughter of the people taking the payment. Good news for Renault is I've made them a poster. It cost me nothing and they can have it for free. It gives exactly the same message to potential buyers but uses subtlety different wording to get the message across.
January holds a few Birthdays, including the Faux Bots' & my own. That's right, I age. Not like you of course, I age randomly, sometimes years in hours, or nothing for decades. I wish to mark this month with a picture that should serve as a warning. A warning to all women. Thank you to Jim aka Quagmire for the picture, he forwarded it to me a while back. Where he got it I have no idea.
Seriously, how can I even get close to '12 days of Metal Xmas'? I can't, not at all, but I held off to avoid embarrassment so you're getting a slice of my still-unnamed music promotion feature whether you like it or not. Again, no theme here, just a cross section of the past few weeks' listening. Scrap that, there is a theme after all; I know little or nothing about all the acts featured here and I'm not in the mood to read so open your freaking ears!
'Bleed American' was the first song I ever heard by Jimmy Eat World and I still swear that it's actually called 'Salt, Sweat, Sugar' maybe it's just a common misconception or somewhere along the way MTV stitched me up a treat. Either way the song kicks ass and their optimism has been keeping me afloat all week.
Everyone knows 'I Love Rock N' Roll' and in any just society this Joan Jett track would be equally as celebrated. I have to thank the glorious Rock Band 2 for introducing me to 'Bad Reputation' and now the whole album has been on heavy rotation all week. This my friends is pop-punk at it's finest, no fuss just some broad shouting her tits off about how nobody likes her over three repetitive chords. Bliss.
If you've subjected yourself to MTV over the last couple of weeks/months you may have heard The Crookers' remix of this Kid Cudi track - 'Day N Nite'. The video is fucking awful but they did a pretty good job of the remix. What you have here is the original track with one of those homemade still videos that allow people to share music on youtube. It sucks but it allows me to put the music up so I'm happy. If anyone knows of a way just to put music in here, I'm all ears (heh) but seriously, help.
I heard 'Well thought out twinkles' a while ago when it scored a trailer for Tony Hawk's Project 8 game. It knocked me out and I instantly got into Silversun pickups' album Carnavas. It's full of lush guitars, sweet melodies and lots n' lots of layers. Like a tall cake oozing with syrup.
Can I say nigga? The reason I ask is because I really wanted to show you all this Plastic Little video for 'All y'all niggaz dead'. I've yet to cream over Spank Rock on here, but hopefully when another album finally comes out I'll have the chance to. I got into Plastic Little through Spank Rock and it's easy to see why they get along so well. Both make abrasive and frankly odd sounding Hip Hop, the kind that makes me go nuts just like some of Black Flag's finest. If a record can make me feel like jumping on a car roof and acting like a fucktard then it's a winner. Plastic Little's 'Foil' does that to me but this one has the better video. Sometimes it's hard to work out whether they actually get anything done beyond taking the piss out of Hip Hop cliches but look beyond the facade and you'll get some fantastic bass-heavy-as-hell production and frankly insane lyrics.
"Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerers of deaths construction In the fields the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds, oh lord yeah!
Politicians hide themselves away They only started the war Why should they go out to fight? They leave that role to the poor
Time will tell on their power minds Making war just for fun Treating people just like pawns in chess Wait till their judgement day comes, yeah!
Now in darkness, world stops turning As the war machine keeps burning No more war pigs of the power Hand of God has sturck the hour Day of judgement, God is calling On their knees, the war pigs crawling Begging mercy for their sins Satan, laughing, spreads his wings All right now!"
...therightbullets gave to me: Mastodon. Really all the credit goes to the Faux Bot for this one, turned me onto this band a little while ago and what a good pick.
The band sound really heavy and lets be honest that's what everyone wants, no one goes looking for a metal band to put on while they drink afternoon tea with the queen (?). Another thing this band definitely has going for it is beards. Wall to wall beards, a great prerequisite for a kick ass and watchable band. But that's it. Just heavy & beards. It's enough, who says it isn't?
Where Strides The Behemoth
For the first time I'm going to sell this band without even showing the song. Here's 44 seconds of intro and It's fucking great, it sounds like the music is going to break the microphone of whatever is recording it.
...therightbullets gave to me: Ted Nugent. The clip is from 1978 which raises questions about the validity of some of my previous comments in which I may have claimed that all instruments were invented in 1981. In an attempt to once again cover my outrageous statements I believe I can explain everything with another little known revelation; I have it on good authority that Nugent is a time traveler from the future. So yeah, there you have that.
Here Nugent is hosting some show or another where he gets to open the show with Cat Scratch Fever, I bet the other bands all loved following that, I'm not saying they couldn't though- just check out that line-up!
Cat Scratch Fever
"Well I don't know where they come from But they sure do come I hope they comin' for me And I don't know how they do it But they sure do it good I hope they doin' it for free"
...therightbullets gave to me: Metallica. An inevitable choice but a difficult one to write because they are so fucking massive ^_^.
They did invent heavy metal though, before they came along in 1981 it was just barber shop quartet and chanting. Also If memory serves me they invented instruments too. There were no instruments as we know them before Metallica, then '81 rolled around and BAM. Seriously though, I have frequent dreams where Hetfield and Ulrich chase down and beat the living daylights out of Bono. That makes me happy.
The Four Horsemen
"So gather round young warriors now And saddle up your steeds Killing scores with demon swords Now's the death of doers wrong Swing the judgment hammer down Safely inside armor blood guts and sweat" Justtherightbullets
...therightbullets gave to me: Rob Zombie. Originally White Zombie was the choice here but the lack of high quality sound clips made me jump a few years ahead into the more recent past. It really doesn't matter which era of Zombie the clip comes from though, you know its always going to kick your sorry ass all over the place. The live shows look amazing, not just turn up and watch a band stand there like lemons playing, the whole 9 yards, a proper show.
Feel So Numb
"Django drag a coffin nail across your back Now everybody want it gotta take it back Brain trash porn flash what is why look into forever revolutionize"
Born to a Russian steel worker and a British aristocrat, I Timpkins, was a misfit from the start. A professional gambler most of my life I struggled to make a living, now at 38 I owe money in all the boroughs.