Tuesday, 28 October 2008

The on/off genius of Pharrell Williams, Kaws and Family Guy

Take a look at this picture of one-time musical genius Pharrell Williams.

Other than him sporting a very fashionable 'fixed gear' bike, what else do you notice? Is it the fucking awesome custom Family Guy Painting by Kaws? Or is it the tears behind his eyes as he further tries to define himself through his possessions? Probably the painting, right?

Since I've been aware of it, I've always been fascinated by postmodernism, particularly the movement's fascination with recontextualising icons and existing facets of popular culture. In layman's terms; I always felt that all the good ideas had already been done and I admired postmodernism's honesty, admitting to reworking past ideas to try and makes something at least half-new.

Kaws is easily my favourite contemporary artist, for many reasons. He paints with bold block colour, has a Graffiti background and could be considered as the very embodiment of this sort of postmodernism. His trademark crossed eyes have reworked icons as distinctive as The Simpsons and Mickey Mouse, and more recently helped to cement Spongebob Squarepants' rightful place in pop culture history.

The Family Guy painting as modelled by Mr. P has struck a particularlarly negative chord with me though. I refuse to believe that Family Guy and its characters can be considered to be truly iconic, after all, the last 3 series' were utter shit and have no long-standing place in pop culture and more importantly, how can a show that is a collage of The Honeymooners, The Simpsons and The Flintstones be reworked when so few of its elements are its own?

Perhaps Kaws identifies with Family Guy because they both rely on recontextualising the past in order to make something new. Maybe Kaws is commenting upon his own character with this painting, in which case, it is the best thing he has ever done. Fascinating how I have these debates with myself, isn't it? God, someone please talk to me about this. What do you think?

I'd like to believe that Kaws truly understands Family Guy and is using it to reflect upon himself, but I still have the underlying feeling that Pharrell gave him $50,000 just to 'do the Griffins'. Whichever way, I feel better for sounding off. Please excuse the erratic nature of my writing and just enjoy some of Kaws' finer works:

Please note that despite my negative tone, I thought that the last N*E*R*D album was amazing, it's just that the Neptunes' production has gone a little off the boil lately, and Pharrell seems far too concerned with 'owning shit' like most rap wankers. Also, if you're curious, check Wikipedia for the Fixed Gear trend. It escapes me, just know that it is synonymous with New York hipsters.

The Faux Bot

Spot the birdie.

I wish every poster I came across was as interesting as this one. Found in a bus stop on the grounds of Nevill Hall hospital, I did a double take, as did everyone else who looked at it while I stood waiting for the bus!

I hope he was found.


Thursday, 23 October 2008

Food Box.

You know what sucks? YOU, Britain. Look at all the candy I'm not eating right now but would be if I was an amazing American.


Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Chief Wiggum Shakes....

...are off the chain! No-one can drink 2 though.

The Faux Bot

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

The truth is out there.

Everyone is interested in UFOs and unidentified phenomena. You'd have to be pretty self obsessed and insular to not have wondered what was really out there in the infinite space around our spec of a rock. Unfortunately I'm sure there are a few exceptions to the sweeping statement I made as the first sentence. The kind of person who if told alien technology had been utilized by our government to further the progress of mankind to such incredible levels that the entire earth could be one perfect utopia by the end of the week, would shrug and turn back to watch their 7th straight hour of Big Brother 23. I choose not to include these people whenever I write, as I'm sure even if they could read they couldn't operate a computer well enough to navigate here.

Back to the point. When I find myself with little to do in the next few weeks I'm going to go here http://ufos.nationalarchives.gov.uk/. Files on UFOs released by the UK government under the freedom of information act. Sure they'll be full of crackpot rubbish and poor quality sketches, plus we all know if there was anything interesting ever in these files the government would have hidden them years ago, right? However this isn't going to stop me having a look, because like all men (I assume) I want to be Fox Mulder, and unless my life takes a change of direction any time soon this is as close as I'm getting.


If you can't kill them, mock them

Every day I make a conscious effort to filter out any sort of mainstream press. I'm not trying to be 'oh-so counter culture', I just feel that most news outlets have very specific agendas that I find either personally offensive or damaging to society. However, I am often subjugated to the BBC's 'Breakfast' show so I am well aware that there is a 'Worldwide Financial Crisis' and my girlfriend drives so I also know that petrol prices are extortionately high right now. Essentially, I cannot afford to participate with the rest of the world right now. The things that I am told that I need in order to become a regular member of society (car, house, debt) are all so far out of my grasp that I have simply stopped trying. With that said, it should now be clear that I am just the sort of loser that finds market crashes, banks going bust and global meltdown absolutely hilarious. It's the equivalent of not being allowed in some bigger kid's tree house and then pissing yourself as it burns down after being hit by lightning. No money, no problems.

You may wonder what set off this little rant and I am more than happy to satisfy your curiosity. May I present to you The Blog of Brokers with their hands on their faces. The lighter side of financial crisis. I just love to think about their lives going down the pan. If it wasn't an industry solely motivated by greed, then I wouldn't be bypassing my normally sympathetic manor. Thing is, I just love to see people get their comeuppance.

The Faux Bot

Sunday, 19 October 2008

A Message to The Kids: Keep Everything

I've recently been whiling many an hour away over at our mate's blog: http://irkininvadersbagoffunkyshit.blogspot.com/ and if there's one thing I've learned from it, then it's that, culturally, I had an amazing childhood. After reminding about Madballs, he willingly fulfilled my request for a Boglins post and I have no doubt that My Pet Monster or Monsters In My Pocket will soon follow. What I've realised is that I owned most of these awesome toys and now they are nowhere to be found. Who is to blame? THE PARENTS!

Parents will just throw that stuff right out, there's simply not enough room for your monster collection, your bargain-basement Macross and your original Millennium Falcon. Now, I can hardly say that I "suffered" from ADHD as a child, more "reveled" in it, but my parents swear blind that they'd have had me locked down on Ritalin and would be reaping plenty of government grants if they had got me diagnosed. My destructive behaviour and 2 minute attention span means that I no longer have any of those cool toys and this breaks my heart.

I urge you, keep all your cool stuff, even if you don't quite appreciate it right now, because a close friend of yours may start writing a blog, reminding you of it all and all you'll have is your own regretful tears. Make your parents listen to my tale of woe and they'll find some extra room for you. I would give up half of my stuff just to have my completed Sloppy Slobs sticker album back.

The Faux Bot

Friday, 17 October 2008

Good news HD fans.

Are high priced Blu-ray players soon to be a thing of the past? Engadgethd.com thinks so, and I for one hope they're right. Panasonic's DMP-BD30 seems to be making the leap, getting reduced to $259.99 and it's region free to boot.

The unit looks good and the price is definitely getting there, plus the DMP-BD30 is already lower priced than what I payed for my very first DVD player all those years ago. That said, I wont be jumping on this particular bandwagon just yet. If this is the shape of things to come I'm more than interested enough to keep an eye on the Blu-ray market but I don't think I'll be getting the credit cards out at this point. There are still things to settle down in my eyes as far as the world accepting the new format goes, not least because DVDs are still providing quality pictures at ever decreasing prices and the Blu-ray discs are grossly overpriced by comparison. When Evangelion makes the move to Blu-ray however, it'll be hard to resist...

Original article


Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Meat Sports.

Strange videos appear online all the time but this is the weirdest one I've come across recently. Things are almost never completely pointless, created for some purpose or whim, but I'm struggling to find the motivation for this one. Or perhaps the motivation is so obvious I've overlooked it until now- men like women in bikinis and meat products. Weave them together and what you get is, well, see below.

Meat sports to be an Olympic event by 2020? Who knows, maybe someone will start a petition? Maybe I will. Maybe I have.

Link dump:


Friday, 10 October 2008

The majesty of the Clinical Burger.

There is a place in a city not far from here, where taste meets enjoyment. Imagine a white palace where all the guards wear white hats and all the surfaces, be they floors or counter tops, sparkle and glimmer like pure polished granite. I have been there many times with friends, all sharing in the late night snacking fit for the good lord himself. Thinking about it, I'm sure if the lord ever did want a burger he would not hesitate to boldly walk up to the counter and order a 'number 6'. But I digress.
Tonight friends, I am saddened. It has been many months since I have had a clinical burger and the desire is manifesting itself once again. Yet I am far removed from the white palace and I know not when I return. Let us all hope and prey that I feed the beast before too much time passes and blood is not this time spilled.


Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Joe Kinnear rant

Possibly the best first interview by anyone ever. Way to come out fighting. Its been suggested Kinnear did this purposely to try and take some of the pressure off the Newcastle United players feeling the heat at the struggling club. Whatever his motives it makes great reading.

This is only the beginning of the interview, see link for full transcript.

"The following is an edited transcript of Newcastle interim manager Joe Kinnear's first official press conference yesterday

JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror's north-east football writer]?

SB Me.

JK You're a cunt.

SB Thank you.

JK Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you're saying I turned up and they [Newcastle's players] fucked off.

SB No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't actually say that. Have you read it?

JK I've fucking read it, I've read it.

SB It doesn't say that. Have you read it?

JK You are trying to fucking undermine my position already.

SB Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I knew you knew they were having a day off.

JK Fuck off. Fuck off. It's your last fucking chance.

SB You read the copy? It doesn't say that you didn't know.

JK What about the headline, you think that's a good headline?

SB I didn't write the headline, you read the copy.

JK You are negative bastards, the pair of you"



Monday, 6 October 2008

I'm bored. Now I'm more bored.

Please people, don't try and fill your time reading the BBCs Internet Blog. Its boring, and to read it I'd need a grey suit and a desk with files on it. Maybe its not that bad, but my only experience means I'm never going back. Allow me to demonstrate.

"Earlier this year, Jem Stone blogged that the BBC had joined the OpenID Foundation. And a week ago, the BBC hosted a meeting of the OpenID Foundation Content Provider Advisory Committee in New York. I was there, among the BBC people and participants from major media companies. This was the first time we gathered a wide participation of companies interested in the possibilities of OpenID."


There is more, and they go on to explain what OpenID is etc etc, but honestly I can't see most people getting beyond "Content Provider Advisory Committee". Snooze.

However, being the helpful sort of chap that for all you know I am, I have an idea to make this kind of material more palatable: comical or fun pictures.
I could see on the news that the French have created a doomsday device, so long as they reported it with a picture of a cat in a hat, or a clown getting hit by a pie. Try reading the same section of that article again (below) that has my subtle changes made to it...

"Earlier this year, Jem Stone blogged that the BBC had joined the OpenID Foundation. And a week ago, the BBC hosted a meeting of the OpenID Foundation Content Provider Advisory Committee in New York. I was there, among the BBC people and participants from major media companies. This was the first time we gathered a wide participation of companies interested in the possibilities of OpenID."

I think the results speak for themselves.


Saturday, 4 October 2008


Is Kayo, Polysics' synthesizer, vocoder & voice the cutest synth player ever? Discuss. Also the band is kick-ass.

Original photo