Saturday, 24 January 2009

Say there, shopkeep!

Shopkeep, do you have Prince Albert in a can? Yes? Well you'd better let him out! Bleeaaagh!



Thursday, 22 January 2009

A trend for January

January holds a few Birthdays, including the Faux Bots' & my own. That's right, I age. Not like you of course, I age randomly, sometimes years in hours, or nothing for decades. I wish to mark this month with a picture that should serve as a warning. A warning to all women. Thank you to Jim aka Quagmire for the picture, he forwarded it to me a while back. Where he got it I have no idea.


Sunday, 11 January 2009

Cat family

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 cats.


Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Tough act to follow.

Seriously, how can I even get close to '12 days of Metal Xmas'? I can't, not at all, but I held off to avoid embarrassment so you're getting a slice of my still-unnamed music promotion feature whether you like it or not. Again, no theme here, just a cross section of the past few weeks' listening. Scrap that, there is a theme after all; I know little or nothing about all the acts featured here and I'm not in the mood to read so open your freaking ears!

'Bleed American' was the first song I ever heard by Jimmy Eat World and I still swear that it's actually called 'Salt, Sweat, Sugar' maybe it's just a common misconception or somewhere along the way MTV stitched me up a treat. Either way the song kicks ass and their optimism has been keeping me afloat all week.

Everyone knows 'I Love Rock N' Roll' and in any just society this Joan Jett track would be equally as celebrated. I have to thank the glorious Rock Band 2 for introducing me to 'Bad Reputation' and now the whole album has been on heavy rotation all week. This my friends is pop-punk at it's finest, no fuss just some broad shouting her tits off about how nobody likes her over three repetitive chords. Bliss.

If you've subjected yourself to MTV over the last couple of weeks/months you may have heard The Crookers' remix of this Kid Cudi track - 'Day N Nite'. The video is fucking awful but they did a pretty good job of the remix. What you have here is the original track with one of those homemade still videos that allow people to share music on youtube. It sucks but it allows me to put the music up so I'm happy. If anyone knows of a way just to put music in here, I'm all ears (heh) but seriously, help.

I heard 'Well thought out twinkles' a while ago when it scored a trailer for Tony Hawk's Project 8 game. It knocked me out and I instantly got into Silversun pickups' album Carnavas. It's full of lush guitars, sweet melodies and lots n' lots of layers. Like a tall cake oozing with syrup.

Can I say nigga? The reason I ask is because I really wanted to show you all this Plastic Little video for 'All y'all niggaz dead'. I've yet to cream over Spank Rock on here, but hopefully when another album finally comes out I'll have the chance to. I got into Plastic Little through Spank Rock and it's easy to see why they get along so well. Both make abrasive and frankly odd sounding Hip Hop, the kind that makes me go nuts just like some of Black Flag's finest. If a record can make me feel like jumping on a car roof and acting like a fucktard then it's a winner. Plastic Little's 'Foil' does that to me but this one has the better video. Sometimes it's hard to work out whether they actually get anything done beyond taking the piss out of Hip Hop cliches but look beyond the facade and you'll get some fantastic bass-heavy-as-hell production and frankly insane lyrics.

The Faux Bot

On the twelfth day of Metal Christmas

...therightbullets gave to me: Black Sabbath.

War Pigs

"Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of deaths construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds, oh lord yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait till their judgement day comes, yeah!

Now in darkness, world stops turning
As the war machine keeps burning
No more war pigs of the power
Hand of God has sturck the hour
Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees, the war pigs crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings
All right now!"


Sunday, 4 January 2009

On the eleventh day of Metal Christmas

...therightbullets gave to me: Mastodon. Really all the credit goes to the Faux Bot for this one, turned me onto this band a little while ago and what a good pick.

The band sound really heavy and lets be honest that's what everyone wants, no one goes looking for a metal band to put on while they drink afternoon tea with the queen (?). Another thing this band definitely has going for it is beards. Wall to wall beards, a great prerequisite for a kick ass and watchable band. But that's it. Just heavy & beards. It's enough, who says it isn't?

Where Strides The Behemoth

For the first time I'm going to sell this band without even showing the song. Here's 44 seconds of intro and It's fucking great, it sounds like the music is going to break the microphone of whatever is recording it.

The whole song is cool, go look it up yourselves.


Saturday, 3 January 2009

On the tenth day of Metal Christmas

...therightbullets gave to me: Ted Nugent. The clip is from 1978 which raises questions about the validity of some of my previous comments in which I may have claimed that all instruments were invented in 1981. In an attempt to once again cover my outrageous statements I believe I can explain everything with another little known revelation; I have it on good authority that Nugent is a time traveler from the future. So yeah, there you have that.

Here Nugent is hosting some show or another where he gets to open the show with Cat Scratch Fever, I bet the other bands all loved following that, I'm not saying they couldn't though- just check out that line-up!

Cat Scratch Fever

"Well I don't know where they come from
But they sure do come
I hope they comin' for me
And I don't know how they do it
But they sure do it good
I hope they doin' it for free"


Friday, 2 January 2009

On the nineth day of Metal Christmas

...therightbullets gave to me: Metallica. An inevitable choice but a difficult one to write because they are so fucking massive ^_^.

They did invent heavy metal though, before they came along in 1981 it was just barber shop quartet and chanting. Also If memory serves me they invented instruments too. There were no instruments as we know them before Metallica, then '81 rolled around and BAM. Seriously though, I have frequent dreams where Hetfield and Ulrich chase down and beat the living daylights out of Bono. That makes me happy.

The Four Horsemen

"So gather round young warriors now
And saddle up your steeds
Killing scores with demon swords
Now's the death of doers wrong
Swing the judgment hammer down
Safely inside armor blood guts and sweat"


Thursday, 1 January 2009

On the eighth day of Metal Christmas

...therightbullets gave to me: Rob Zombie. Originally White Zombie was the choice here but the lack of high quality sound clips made me jump a few years ahead into the more recent past. It really doesn't matter which era of Zombie the clip comes from though, you know its always going to kick your sorry ass all over the place.
The live shows look amazing, not just turn up and watch a band stand there like lemons playing, the whole 9 yards, a proper show.

Feel So Numb

"Django drag a coffin nail across your back
Now everybody want it gotta take it back
Brain trash porn flash what is why
look into forever revolutionize"